When The World Is Running Down
…you make the best of what’s still around
March ‘23
Middleweight Adventure Bikes
Ah Sting, bless him. Seventy one and apparently still banging on about tantric sex. Although his wife now admits it’s a myth, so some solace in the knowledge that he’s getting fed all the same ads on BookFace as everyone else. Full circle lyricism though; for those of us ‘lucky’ enough to recall social history as participants, it does seem every bit as grim out there in 2023 as it was in 1980 when he first squawked out his prophetic tune.
And yet, in such turgid economic times, new bike registrations are holding strong and overall industry revenues are up, with some stand out examples. Most notably Ducati breaching one billion euro of revenue in 2022 and double digit profitability. Clearly there are still huge challenges ahead - sustainability, environment, ageing consumers and blah blah blah but for now it’s almost as if the best of what’s still around is……motorcycles. As a community, we raise two fingers and we ride on.
Possibly linked directly to approaching Armageddon, but locally most probably speaking volumes for the state of the King’s highway, the greatest intensity of development within all this paradoxical confusion is definitely middleweight adventure bikes. All the main brands are feverishly clamouring for a slice of the pie. It’s approaching twenty years now since the accidental inception of the Charley & Ewan global Gee Ess experiment and like Deep Thought from the 80’s novel ‘Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy’, an answer has now spewed forth; computed and calculated by way of a billion boxer miles, nodding peaked lids and colour matched Bavarian Goretex.
“FORTY TWO” booms out. Everyone gathered stares.
Of course. Turns out these monstrous bloody things are 42 kilograms too heavy. Everyone back to the drawing board.
And I’ve been there. Slithering down a thawing mountain trail in Italy, ‘Enduro’ mode selected in the vain hope that a fuel map will compensate for the criminal absence of skills piloting a quarter of a tonne of Bolognese metal. Fun in a way that long distance running is fun when it’s all over. I’ve had two Multistrada twins during the last dozen years, first a 1200S then a 950. Both manifest huge presence, useable tech and all the stomp you’ll ever need but they are for road bike adventures pure and simple and very good at that.
Unchanged personal criteria for a big miles bike are excellence in comfort, ergonomics, brand appeal and grunt. Like many others driving the collective downsize, I’ve also concluded that reduced kerb weight and low speed manageability are increasingly the key to relishing the long ride. Also keen to occasionally venture further off tarmac, particularly for variety on lengthy trips, I’d prefer a machine designed to compensate for clumsiness and help me develop, rather than work against me on dirt and gravel. With a markedly top heavy character, 240kg fully laden and a few tough winters under its belt, the 950 Multistrada is destined for pastures new.
Just like that, an entry to the biggest game in town. In terms of new bikes, there are now at least fifteen viable middleweight adventure bikes, about half of which are wholly new or heavily revised for 2023. Enter some irrational subjectivity and personal prejudice to distil a short list but make no mistake, with the economy in freefall, there is more emphasis than ever on a head over heart decision. Out with the horoscopes, fire up the spreadsheets.
Fresh offerings from Suzuki (V-Strom 800) & Moto Guzzi (V85TT) crash heavily into the first fence - both weighing in wet at 230kg. It becomes clear that using cubic capacity solely as a qualifier for ‘middleweight’ is flawed. Two further contenders from Husqvarna (Norden 901) & Triumph (Tiger 900) are quickly ruled out through a combination of too tall in the saddle and misunderstood design language. Beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder in this segment and although function and purpose dominate, there remains a place for pride of ownership.
Yamaha have sold forty thousand Tenere 700s since 2019 - a worldwide phenomenon leading to global shortages and sales domination only previously enjoyed by (whisper it) the biggest BMW GS. Just a short time ago, the Tenere was bereft of serious competition but that has all changed. Being softly sprung, rally tall and unladen with electronic sophistication would be an absolute clincher for some but my type of adventuring is unlikely to require me to fashion a repair in the desert, armed only with a spork and a rolled up copy of Good Housekeeping. I genuinely enjoy the flexibility of mode selection and traction settings and seek an upgrade in this regard rather than a backward step. As scant compensation for being cruelly cast on the cutting room floor, one of those forty thousand T7s will feature later in my riding year. A stateside rental reservation is in place for a five day tour of the Pacific North West this September on the handsome Yam.
Full Honda XL750 specification and launch reports didn’t appear until spring and infuriatingly for a Honda fan boy, the Transalp just clipped the final fence. Following the path of its stablemate, the new Hornet, the price point is keen and hats off to Hamamatsu for that. True off road chops unsurprisingly appear to play second fiddle to road manners and overall Honda-ness but the exasperating absence of cruise control, even as an option, is a fatal oversight. When the competition is so fierce, despite the new lusty engine, no tick in that box means no test ride.
Shortlisted and advancing beyond tubes videos and online launch reports to an actual posterior assessment are 2023 versions of the Aprilia Tuareg 660, KTM 890 Adventure & Ducati Desert X. Coincidentally the final choices falling at low, medium and high price points respectively. Full specifications are openly available direct from all manufacturers, below is just what the seat of the pants had to say.
Aprilia Tuareg 660
A crisp and sunny February day in Thirsk. Dealer scarcity and after sale options are definitely a brand consideration. Quickshifter is an accessory option on the 660 and absent on the test bike but other than that the electronics package is comprehensive as standard, accessed through a bright TFT screen.
GOOD STUFF : feels enduro light and with fuel storage pushed towards the floor, low speed manners are impeccable. 80bhp parallel twin, complete with cheeky induction bark, is characterful, willing to spin and fun when pushed. Lack of weight very evident in handling manners, tight twists are more enjoyable than any 21 inch front should enable. Suspension quality and overall ride feels refined and plush - a real surprise at the price. Feels almost toy like and approachable after jumping off a Multistrada. A striking profile in corporate colours. Decent accessory options, keenly priced.
LESS GOOD STUFF : On initial scroll, the TFT dash layout is a little clunky with some menu oddities. Why show speed with leading zeros? A fuel gauge with consumption all calculated on board but no distance to empty? Cruise control a bit fiddly. Screen non adjustable with B grade wind buffeting. Low seat accessory needed to unlock my magic flat foot number of 840mm. Main beam switch engages accidentally during one in every two clutch pulls. A small thing perhaps, and the quickshifter would lessen impact but maddening as standard.
KTM 890 Adventure
2023 brings a welcome facelift from Austria and some ergonomic tweaks. Demo bike has the full tech pack enabled (as does every customer for 1500km) but ultimately adds over £800 to the base price. After ten minutes on test, I ride into the teeth of a blizzard on the M62. Two inches of snow gathers on the screen. Hastily selecting rain mode, we have a modest adventure together.
GOOD STUFF : Adjustable seat on lower setting delivers 840mm as standard. Tank & chassis design pushes wet weight low in the frame, supremely balanced at low speed despite only average marks for kerb heft in the class. 105bhp parallel twin is buttery smooth in all gears with a naughty top end rush. TFT interface clear and intuitive. Tech pack elevates performance - Rally Mode in particular is a hoot. Controls feel premium, including lit switches (why does no-one else bother?) Suspension and chassis combination glides over rough surfaces but also enables B road scratchability. Generous fuel range. Comfy with a sporty spirit.
LESS GOOD STUFF : Slightly awkward gear shift & clutch position on factory settings. Screen non-adjustable but new ‘sculpted hole’ design delivers an A grade for wind buffeting. Cosmetically still purposeful rather than pretty but the praying mantis upper fairing thankfully a thing of the past. Powerparts accessories pricey.
Ducati Desert X
The good folk of Bologna were never mucking about here. Despite no real heritage, this is the most Dakar stance on test. Truthfully, on paper & price point it’s a shortlist outsider, but only because this is a head decision. If it were left to the heart.….
GOOD STUFF : Breathtaking Italian sex appeal. Endless beautifully executed mode options offer serious off road minerals whilst still retaining the sporting credentials you’d expect. Can seriously hussle to anywhere you want to go, across any surface. Suspension and brakes are stupendous.
LESS GOOD STUFF : Seat & suspension kit needed to meet the saddle stance criteria without really solving weight distribution. In this regard versus the others, the big DX is fighting both a V2 configuration and elevated fuel load. Although engine maps & tweaks breathe new life to a familiar (to me) powerplant, a bit of low speed chug remains. Dash feels strangely remote (the rally bike aspect ratio not helping) and some info is just too small at a glance, particularly when things can get hectic so often. Touring endurance impacted by Grade C buffeting, really needs a taller screen.
What a time to be alive. Auditioning three ‘do-it-all’ bikes delivering a calibre of all round performance that simply did not exist just a few years ago. In this particular instance, all these bikes declare off road capability way beyond the likely skill arc of the rider in question but the level of capability and refinement across all the tasks they undertake is mesmerising. It rings true, no one makes bad bikes anymore and the cluster of candidates ruled out early in this evaluation will no doubt deliver huge smiles to their respective owners for years to come. However, there remains a vacant three to five year position at Superbike Island for high miles heavy lifting, a decision is needed and thankfully forthcoming.
The Desert X is a monumental dirt debut by Ducati and has been rightly celebrated since improbable prototype became towering reality. Fifteen years of personal brand loyalty has been stretched to snapping point by a strict criteria of practicality that ultimately overwhelmed the weight of emotional attachment.
Both the Aprilia & KTM have a beguiling naughtiness lurking beneath their mild mannered approachability but in the final reckoning it is the revised incarnation of the 890 Adventure that wins out. It has developed a grown up parallel persona that counterbalances the ever present KTM frivolity and this extends its reach and potential in the face of long ambitious days. Throughout KTM’s road going evolution, any lingering clunkiness and rough edges have been steadily eliminated along the way.
The antidote to apocalypse wears orange.
