Lottery Fix
August ‘22
The ‘courtesy’ bike.
Pandering premium product entitlement or reward reflecting years of loyal custom?
Either way, time to change the odds.
Brakes, belts and braces. Big desmo service days may now be less frequent (every five years for a 950 Multistrada) but it’s still a potentially toe curling moment when requesting a quote…….”maybe send it by text?”.
There’s been all sorts of bikes served up over the years, from truly sublime to quite ridiculous. A Hypermotard on a clear June day? I’ll call you from the Tuscan hills. A ‘camouflage’ painted Triumph Tiger? Just off home to hide in the garage, too much work on today in any case.
This time I play my hand in person and book early.
“Any chance of a V4? Be nice to see what all the fuss is about”.
“No problem”. Busy fingers begin to type notes: V-4-M-U-L-T-I-S ….uh-oh.
I cough.
“Erm, great. I guess you’ll need my bike all day? PANIGALE it is then”.
No batting of a single eyelid, no looking up from the keyboard. Seems the loyal credibility currency earned over fifteen years is still good to spend now and then.
If any credence can be given to such things, the 2022 Ducati Panigale V4S has wiped the motorcycle media board clean, winning group tests and plaudits with ease. The consensus; a step change in useability with sheer minerals and poise beyond compare. If a linear curve of evolution is taken as read, there’s a case for this bike as the all time high water mark for road going sports motorcycles. Oh yes, and it’s twenty six grand. Nae pressure.
Come the big day, the plan is simple enough. Link three popular bike haunts with 150 miles of Yorkshire Dales dalliance before collection back in Shipley at 5pm. A means to gather my own thoughts and those I encounter along the way. Weather looks a little iffy with low cloud and mizzle but time to press on - with the plan and the starter button. And….BOOM!….times four and repeat. The V4S is by far the loudest bike in standard trim ever encountered, let alone ridden. Dry clutches and desmodromics may have been forced from the stage but the Bologna Symphony plays on. In a burgeoning box of ECU wonders, the successful navigation of Euro 5 noise regulation may be the greatest electronic trick of all.
First stop is the Route 59 Cafe near Skipton. The charm of the proprietors trumps the derelict filling station aesthetic. Open most days but only Tuesday evenings for bike night during summer. It’s still a little early in the day and I’m well into my bacon butty before a few senior gents gather for a brew and a blether.
“Hold on, I need my hearing aid in, all I can hear is bloody trucks”. Short pause. “They’ve lent you that for the day then, eh? Christ, just given you any old shite. You should try the full bore 24 horse of my Royal Enfield fella. That’ll put hair on your chest” He’s smiling. His mate isn’t.
“Ah’ve done all that speed nonsense - got the t-shirt and had the accident. Not for me anymore.”
Just as I shape to move on, a young lad about twelve jumps off the back of a cruiser as his grandad parks it up. He quickly gets close to gawp in excitement at the Panigale glamour. The red paint reflects back making his cheeks glow. When the Northern Italy Orchestra fires back up, he visibly starts and giggles towards his grandpa. Strong emotion, a little early drama, the quickshifter chimes as I beat a retreat.
Early impressions. Surprisingly high in the saddle and sitting on top, rather than in, the bike. The trademark race bike feel and unique chassis stiffness first encountered on an 848 all feels familiar. The gearing is an aspect heavily modified on the 2022 model. Lower ratios are longer than I can recall on any bike and with sublime electronics, deliver snatch free pull in town and from tight exits. In turn, with a redline north of 15k rpm and 215hp, on the Queen’s highway the higher gears are rendered redundant for all but lawful cruising and frequent nursing towards a fuel station. At a guess (I promise) speed at the redline in the taller second gear? 125mph? More? It seems redundant to say it is ballistically fast. There is no good reason for this bike, or any of the flagship superbikes in truth, to exist for the road. But it does, they do and praise be to that.
Hawes for a snack. Three lads (Tuono, Tracer, GS) on a day trip from Southport share a table. We trade views on the BSB season so far. Then talk turns to Buttertubs Pass and the local wiggly B roads. They gesture quizzically across the street in the direction of red. I speculate that pointing a Panigale down these lanes is perhaps like forcing a thoroughbred race horse to tip toe down a cobbled street. Nothing bad really happens, other methods are probably faster or more comfortable but at the end you are still sat on the fanciest horse. It matters to some, others simply couldn’t care less. Horses and courses. The conversation shapes my exit trajectory towards the faster furlongs to be found up to Ingleton. Still bumpy but crests and open sections loosen the reigns. The semi-active Ohlins gathers everything from the surface and throws back a magic carpet. Fierce Brembos pop the eyeballs. A few hours in and together we’re taking it to the next level. The true easy nature of the latest Panigale in a nutty nutty shell.
Before heading back to pay a bill, I squeeze in a gelato at Kirkby Lonsdale. By then it is late afternoon and I am considering smearing it on my nether regions. Not for any recreational purpose, this bike runs hot. Very hot. The occasional toasted testicle was a way of life with underseat pipes in the noughties but the relentless fire of the rear cylinders has armour inserts doubling as kebab sticks. And this is Lancashire, not a mid-summer day in Misano.
A retired mechanic steps up at Devil’s Bridge. He’s left a Monster at home (I assume referring to his bike) and wants to talk Duke tech. We start working through from A to Z but somewhere around J, another bystander is hovering with ants in his pants.
“The wings. Can you actually tell what they are doing?” he blurts. Great question.
I have a stab along the lines of “anyone picking out discrete stability contributions between maps, traction control, aero, suspension whilst piloting this in hyperspace, is a better man than I, Gunga Din” He seems placated and happy to be using first names.
And there’s the rub. I’d argue more than ever that the rider skill delta that can isolate, explain and exploit the relative performance merits across all latter day superbikes probably sits on a track somewhere between club racer and BSB qualifier. For the rest of us, it is varying levels of bravery, wonderment and emotion that defines our destiny and allegiance. A Panigale V4 is special because it makes you feel special. Ducati know this too but they keep improving it anyway. Bravo.
